Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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