do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
