Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
