i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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