didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
don't judge my taste in strippers
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Randomize
