i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
