real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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