Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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