I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Randomize
