Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
