I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
