The maid of honor just puked.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
