just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
