making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
