I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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