the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
