Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
