so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
