she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
try to milk me bitch
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
