my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i will never coherently bang her
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
