what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
