You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
