I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I think I sprained my soul last night
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
