Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
