But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
