i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
