she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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