Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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