how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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