And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
