and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
