So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
