She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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