Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
