Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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