let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
