I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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