Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
