i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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