Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
