Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
