either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
