Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
