I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
