He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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