YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
