I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Boobs are out for the taking
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
