cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
you would pick up someone in the library
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize