Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
