It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
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