Fine. I'll sleep in my office
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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