I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
