Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
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